Lately I've been feeling very stressed, overwhelmed, and lonely. Part of this is due to the fact that it is a very busy and crazy time at work right now and part of that is because I have made my job my idol.
I have made my job so important and forefront in my mind, that I have let it consume me. I have become so concerned with getting everything done every day and letting it stress me out when something is not complete that all I want to do when I get home from work is eat and go straight to bed. Now, let me clarify: I love my job. I love the people I work with, the relationships that have been created, and the many new opportunities that it has presented to me. But I've realized it's not my mission in life. God has brought me into this world for a greater mission to bring Him glory. How am I'm going to be used or what is my mission? I'm still not sure, but I do know that my mission is not being benefited by me working myself to the point of exhaustion.
I keep thinking to myself, if I can just get to this date, or just finish this assignment, I'll be able to rest or slow down. But, the reality is that every time one thing stops, something else starts. And no matter how much I try to slow down myself, it won't happen. I'm depending on myself to be able to rest and bring peace, when clearly I'm not capable of doing that on my own. As I now have a moment to catch my breath, I think of a verse that I haven't put into practice for quite some time:
I have created this burden for myself that in the span of eternity is useless. In this great big world, I am so small and in my mission in life, my job is a small aspect of it. I'm not using my job to spread the gospel, and I'm not growing in faith or community by working so late that I'm so tired I just want to eat and sleep. I have come to recognize that I've been consumed with the things of this earth through my busyness and my prayer is this: that I learn that true rest and peace can only come by seeking out the Lord and being satisfied by Him alone.
I have made my job so important and forefront in my mind, that I have let it consume me. I have become so concerned with getting everything done every day and letting it stress me out when something is not complete that all I want to do when I get home from work is eat and go straight to bed. Now, let me clarify: I love my job. I love the people I work with, the relationships that have been created, and the many new opportunities that it has presented to me. But I've realized it's not my mission in life. God has brought me into this world for a greater mission to bring Him glory. How am I'm going to be used or what is my mission? I'm still not sure, but I do know that my mission is not being benefited by me working myself to the point of exhaustion.
I keep thinking to myself, if I can just get to this date, or just finish this assignment, I'll be able to rest or slow down. But, the reality is that every time one thing stops, something else starts. And no matter how much I try to slow down myself, it won't happen. I'm depending on myself to be able to rest and bring peace, when clearly I'm not capable of doing that on my own. As I now have a moment to catch my breath, I think of a verse that I haven't put into practice for quite some time:
"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." - Matthew 11:28-30
I have created this burden for myself that in the span of eternity is useless. In this great big world, I am so small and in my mission in life, my job is a small aspect of it. I'm not using my job to spread the gospel, and I'm not growing in faith or community by working so late that I'm so tired I just want to eat and sleep. I have come to recognize that I've been consumed with the things of this earth through my busyness and my prayer is this: that I learn that true rest and peace can only come by seeking out the Lord and being satisfied by Him alone.
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength." - Isaiah 28-31aDuring this entire busy season, I have felt God constantly reminding me of his presence- whether a song that I hear or by His words that I read. I thought it was fitting that the closing song at church yesterday was "The One Who Saves" by Hillsong. So I leave these words from the song with you to remind you that true rest and peace come from the One who loves us, even when we feel we are too busy for Him.
"We have found our hope
We have found our peace
We have found our rest
In the One who Loves"
